Wednesday, October 29, 2008

VIVA VIAGRA!

I will admit that I have a lot of favorite things. I have a favorite shirt (short sleeve blue, faded and stained BYU Tee), favorite car (MGB GT), favorite color (British Racing Green), favorite author (C.S. Lewis) and favorite movie (It's A Wonderful Life). I have a favorite something that most would find hard to guess.

I have a favorite day of the week. But not just any specific day in the week. My favorite day only comes around every four years. It's not February 29th because that is a day in the calendar.

It's the first Wednesday after the first Tuesday in November in even years. It just so happens that it happens this year on November 5th... the day after national elections.

This day that I celebrate is the first day after a busy and intense political campaign. It starts out promising enough, candidates promise that they will not be negative, they only endorse a positive campaign. And then the first poll numbers come in.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN! Can you hear the trumpets blow. It's like an English fox hunt. They're off and running. And you and I are bombarded with the campaign ads. It's difficult to sort out the truth amongst all of the lies. But one thing I am sure of as I am sure the sun rises and sets every day.

The ads are gone the first Wednesday after the first Tuesday in November in election years.

I just long for a nice tame Viagra ad.

At least I'll know with Viagra if it lives up to promises. Not that I use it, I don't, can't afford it, can't afford the chance of an "erection lasting four hours" and "seeing my doctor". I can afford Niagara, the spray starch. Again, my wife says I don't need it. You know, the Viagra or the Niagara.

TMI. Moving on.

I'm so sick and tired of political ads that I'm looking forward to seeing ads for women's products. Yes, I admit it. I want to see an ad that promotes a pad with and without wings. Bring on the Tampax, the Stayfree Mini and Maxi-pads. Give me a lousy douche ad over a great McCain or Obama ad any day. I want to see women discussing their periods every fifteen minutes.

Digressing again.

I can't wait for the Santa Claus to slide around on his Norelco shaver in the snow. I love Billy Maes and can't wait to have him sell me Oxy Clean.

And the best part is no one is going to pay for a political ad saying "Thanks to those of you who voted for me" and a big "shove it" to those who didn't. We only get to know if the winner was lying in the future. What did Dukakis, Kerry, and Gore do as President?

I don't know, they were losers!

The economy wins! People will start buying again. We have ads for things we can buy and put on our credit cards instead of putting our money into people.

And no matter who wins or loses I'll win. The first Wednesday after the first Tuesday in November is my day every four years.

Now bring on the ads. VIVA VIAGRA!

2 comments:

Devon said...

Amen!

The Whites said...

Paul wants to know what wrong with 4 hours.......