How I’m Spending My Summer (Vacation?)

I was notified today that if I don't start writing my blog again I'm going to lose my legions, I mean my hordes of, excuse me, my fan.

And it's not my fault that I haven't been writing. It's just that over the past month something really strange has appeared in the sky here in Washington and we, as in the general public, have been mesmerized by this strange and bright object, our bodies have been warmed by the heat it puts out and our skin tones have changed from Mr. Clean white to shades of tan. They tell me it's called the Sun and that all life depends upon it. I've heard that it appears on a regular basis in places like Hawaii, Arizona, Texas, and California. If you live in any of these places it's really easy to tell a tourist from the Great Northwet because when the sun comes out we walk around staring blindly at the sky like we've just seen a UFO.

Okay, when you last visited the blog we were singing the praises of my middle granddaughter Girlie who had just turned 7-years old. However, her birthday is over and I've been continuously reminded by her how embarrassing my blog was. She's like old news now.

So I thought I would share with you some the exciting events that have made up my summer.

First, shortly after my granddaughters birthday, I had one of those experiences that happen only once every ten years. And I'm 50 years old. You would think after an experience like this one that I would have gotten at least dinner and a movie. Yes, I had the every ten-year probe of my body, specifically my bottom. I know, it's kind of gross, but everyone has to go through it about 4-5 times in a lifetime. Let me say this from the experience, if aliens ever do come and take me for a ride in their spaceship I'm going to whip out my ID that says I've been anally probed recently by someone much more qualified than them.

One would think that the full physical alone would have made for a more than exciting summer but no, something else medically trumped that experience. Since I'm 50 and slightly overweight, you know, 10 – 100 pounds, the doctor thought that it would be prudent to run a stress test on me. Unless you're a guy you have no idea how excited I was to find out that it was a Nuclear Stress Test! You don't' exactly glow in the dark but you do glow under the camera. C'mon, they inject you with low level radiation! How cool is that?

The outcome of the tests did reveal a problem that had been previously undetected and, luckily, was caught early. You guessed it, I actually have a heart. I know, I was surprised by the news myself. I had to get some smelling salts for my wife when she found out. She had some inkling that I had one but had previously surmised that mine was made of stone.

The other big news for our family is that we have added a new member to our already growing clan. No, we haven't had another grandchild, I've added another car to my stable. Let me take a moment and tell you how much I love Craigslist! It was a simple posting, "MG for Sale". It turned out to be an exact match for the car that I already had in my newly remodeled garage, a 1972 MG Midget. Problem with the car in the garage is that it has a cancer (rust) problem that was going to be costly to repair. Now I'm just putting the new parts that I own on the new car that I've bought. Of course, one of the reasons that you buy an MG, or any British car for that matter, is so that everyone can make fun of the car. Now, my grandson Chandler is the first to tell you that MG stands for "Morris Garages", while his mother used to say that it meant "Mostly Garbage". She doesn't' get to ride in the car for a while. I've been working diligently on the car in between roofing my house, rebuilding my porch, going to insignificant family events such as weddings and family reunions, and fulfilling my responsibilities at church. And now we, I mean I, hope to have the car running on the road in the next week or two.

And now, summer is over, at least in Washington. We're going to have one of our typical "Indian Summers", whatever that means.

Now that I've repented and started writing again I promise that I'll write more often and share with you some of my warped views of the world.

I mean, we haven't even touched upon the health care issues that seem to be the talk of the town, maybe one day we should have that little discussion.

So, if you've missed me, go ahead and leave a comment, you don't have to log into comment and no silly word phrase required. You can even leave comments anonymously.